A Mindful Approach to Dementia & Psychedelics: Our Shared Journey Series - We Have A Plan
After our family reunion in Cancun, we have settled back into life in our community outside San Miguel de Allende in Mexico. Our intent was to spend three solid months living in this community in order to feel what it would be like and if it was a good fit for us, given that Henry has been diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer’s. We learned about the access to added layers of care.
If you chose to move into one of the efficiency apartments, it automatically included assisted care. We were told you could access as many of the services you wanted. One thing that would happen is that someone would check in on you twice daily, in the morning and early evening. Other than that, you could be as independent as you wanted or access full care if required. All three meals could be brought to your apartment, or you could eat at the communal area, or you could cook yourself, or go to the café. You could make your bed or have someone else make it. You could go to yoga class or not. The office could facilitate whatever you wanted: reserve a swim lane for daily swims and even walk you over to the pool if wanted, set up physical therapy sessions, and even arrange for any meal requests or preferences.
Another arrangement we saw was for those who wished to stay in their own home or a rental home; they could access services à la carte. We learned from one neighbor that as his mother aged, they had someone come and help bathe her. Another person hired a night nurse. Someone else had someone accompany her wheel-bound husband during the day as he recovered from a stroke. Others who stayed in private homes hired these same services independently rather than through this on-site establishment.
As our three months were coming to a close, we knew that we had found a gem. The services were beyond what is usually found elsewhere. An added benefit was the congeniality and kindness of the neighbors, staff, and caregivers we met. After the chill of the early morning, the predictable warm, now getting increasingly hot, midday sun was like clockwork. The altitude, at over 6,000 ft/2,000 meters, may take a few days to get used to. For me, the altitude mixed with the desert dust did provoke a mild asthmatic condition. However, there are ways to mitigate that with humidifiers, wearing a mask, and other proactive habits. Having access to the dynamic activities of San Miguel and the vibrant community I was becoming a part of would be worth it.
I also began to ask myself, “Would I want to live here on my own?” Irregardless of what Henry shared about his wishes to be ready to access MAID in the not-so-distant future, as written about in a recent blog, I am nearly ten years Henry’s junior. Just logically and statistically, as Henry moved into his late 70s, the reality that I will be on my own was becoming more real. It is not surprising since I would be joining the majority of women who end up on their own—either as widows, divorcees, or those women who were always on their own.
Interestingly, San Miguel de Allende is referred to as a center for the Divine Feminine. Not just because of the amount of elderly ladies that abound but also because there is an energetic feel of creativity, beauty, protection, and other qualities of the feminine. I, myself, feel a pull and have met many women who inspire me and match my spirit of continued life, creation, and an embrace for the journey ahead. These are not people folding their hands waiting out their last years to die. No, not at all. There is a vitality of spirit that is contagious.
We are days away from the end of our stay, and we will depart with greater clarity. We have witnessed firsthand what could arguably be considered some of the best care and options for aging with dementia (and for the accompanying caregiver). Henry is clear this is not the path he wants to take. Sometimes experiencing something can help decide what you do not want, as in this case. Perhaps this helped Henry bring more decisiveness and commitment to his decision shared in last week’s blog.
In these last weeks of our stay, people have come to learn that I am a mindful microdosing coach. Not only is my book Mindful Microdosing: A Guidebook and Journal, now available for sale at La Biblioteca in downtown San Miguel, but people are beginning to seek me out to learn more about microdosing. I refer them to my website, this blog, and for the caregivers, to the free offerings for them. Several people wanted to try microdosing after hearing about it, while others are caregivers seeking a healthier, more sustainable way to navigate their journey. Some are dealing with depression due to the stress, grief, loss, and level of responsibility of caregiving.
Since being in Mexico, I have designed two offerings on my website specifically for caregivers: a Caregiver Mindfulness Practice and Mindful Microdosing for Caregivers - An Overview. Both can be accessed for free as a way of service to my fellow caregivers, knowing firsthand the enormity of the situation. It is but a small contribution, but it is increasingly clear to me that I want to step into being a more proactive advocate, blending mindfulness, psychedelics, and caregiving. And with whatever I offer, it is through the lens of mindfulness.
For those interested in microdosing in general, I was not surprised by the following scenarios. Someone from California came to check out the memory care center for a loved one. During her one-week stay, she gave a neighbor a pill with psilocybin. I asked her how much was in the pill. She didn’t know. Another neighbor interested in microdosing said she was coached by a local young woman, but there was no context other than to take a pill that had a pre-measured amount and instructions about how often to take the pill. Both are examples that are not at all mindful. Mindful microdosing implies integrating qualities of mindfulness throughout the process, even before first ingesting. As a simple example, rather than starting a new process blindly, a mindful approach integrates qualities such as beginner’s mind along with discernment. I developed an 8-week course so people around the world could integrate mindfulness as an approach to microdosing. The course is available from my website.
For people in their senior years, contemplating the purpose of their lives as their awareness of their own mortality becomes a closer horizon, mindful microdosing can be a supportive companion in this phase of life. A mindful approach to higher doses can also be a possibility. Just this week, I was happy to read a new study from the Cleveland Clinic Journal of Medicine and their research titled Psychedelics, Spirituality, and Existential Distress in Patients at the End of Life. It is with excitement and encouragement that I see this area being studied and positive results in the findings.
Like Henry, psychedelics have played a positive role in diminishing any existential anxiety he may have had—particularly around facing death. After his 5-MeO-DMT experience with bufo, as I have written about in previous blogs, and after learning more about this active ingredient at the Psychedelic Society of Vermont’s Soulquinox conference in beautiful Stowe, Vermont last year where Dr. Chris Timmerman presented his research underway from the Centre for Psychedelic Research at Imperial College London—Henry’s mind calmed down and settled into a heart at peace, better prepared for the inevitable. The impact of this has led me to question: What is more important—being at peace with death, or living longer without that peace? All I can say is that I am grateful we explored these themes when Henry’s cognition was stronger, so that he could prepare for his “cognitive death”—now at peace in both heart and mind—before he could no longer direct his focus of attention.
Most Westerners fear death or don’t want to talk about it. As shared in previous blogs and our unfolding journey, bringing mindful awareness and staying grounded in a source of well-being beyond the physical or outer world includes contemplating death. In so doing, the preciousness of life is magnified. Living with deep gratitude each day is palpable. Even Henry is now asking that his days be quieter as he shifts even more focus of his attention and energy towards an inner place of beauty and peace.
The last day in Cancun, my Toronto daughter asked if I would consider helping out in a few weeks. With young children and a working husband, she could really use the extra hand during the week she is to present for her Final Oral Exam as she completes her PhD at University of Toronto. Without hesitation, I say yes, knowing this is a monumental event. We’ll figure it out.
So before our upcoming trip back home to Vermont, I ask Henry if he’d prefer to stay in this warm Mexican climate since it is still snowing in Vermont. He said he’d prefer to go home as planned. My Vermont daughter asks if I could push up the trip so Henry would have time to readjust. Then she generously offers to spend each night with her father at our home while I’m away a week in Toronto.
We have a plan.
- Lauren Alderfer, PhD.
